I guess I am both happy and sad.
I am happy because apparently young people in Riverside, California will never witness or experience mortality since they won’t be reading my book, which is great for them.
But I am also sad because I was really hoping I would be able to introduce the idea that human beings die to the children of Riverside, California and thereby crush their dreams of immortality.
damn you I.E.
Well, at least projects I am working on are starting to look up.
I got approved for my sketch comedy idea at work. i hope it turns out how I think it might.
I need to create photog flyers still.
& put a reel together…but I guess I can’t do that until I have footage from these sketch comedy bits where I am actually in them!
Plus, I am forcing myself to get 1 creative conceptual photoshoot this week.
I am just piling it on for myself, hoping to achieve something.
Here goes nothin
Remember that crazy lady I live with for 3 months?
We;;, I spent a week cleaning that room from top to bottom (I even bought white paint to paint teeny tiny little a marks on the walls & door) hoping I’d get at least 50 bucks of my deposit back.
She just e-mailed me stating she’s charging me for all sorts of BULLSHIT.
"The duvet cover had a stain..that’s 38 dollars"
“I have to switch the curtains to the other rods, that’s 30 dollars”
so no deposit.
I could’ve really used that money this month.
Today was utter shit.
"But," I thought to myself, "at least, I have improv today!"
Why waste my time? Our practice is 2 hours, & I was in 2 scenes for less than 1 minute each.
Improv is a serious passion, but also just fun & a great way to relieve stress & be creative. But,what is the point if I am just going to get stepped on & never let in any scenes? It is so frusterating to see a perfect place to edit, & then right as I am stepping onstage to do so, a team mate walks just a tad bit faster than me because they feel they have a great initiation. I feel like I do not mesh with these people…& we’ve been a team since Jan…when am I gonna mesh? When am I going to feel supported? Why am I giving up 2 days a week plus the crazy gas to get to a theatre where I have less than 5 minutes of stage time?
I have always been a very patient player, & try my best to wait out a scene…but I feel like no one else really is…everyone is so far up their own ass’s that they just haaaave to be in every scene. That’s not an ensemble.
I was making faces without even realizing throughout the night. Our coach caught me several times & winked. I can’t help but make faces when someone is making no sense & just running off with their idea cuz they are selfish pricks.
I am going to be 25 very soon…& I just keep looking into my life, & think, “what the fuck have I achieved?” A minimum wage, part time job? a spot on a shitty improv team? a piece of shit worthless degree from a piece of shit ‘university’? anything else? no? oh okay. I hear of friends & aquaintences from my same school who didn’t do shit in school (either they cheated their way through classes, weren’t involved, poor gpa etc) & they’re so successful! I mean, what the fuck is that?
My boyfriend asked me what my dream job is the other day. Know what I said? “Uhhh…I don’t really have one…” I don’t! I still have no fucking clue what i’d like to do with my whole exsistence. I know someone is thinking, “what’s the rush, calm down” but there is a rush. I can’t even support myself financially…& my grandfather is not going to be here forever.
Everything in my life feels fucked.
The best part is someone told me they visited WC today, & apparently “10,000 people asked about you”
Why don’t these 10,000 people contact me? hmm?
What happened to friendships lasting past college?
Nicole Richie taught me how to be a friend
YAAAAASSSSS NICOLE DRAG HA!
Nicole carried this show, no tea no shade.